Deism or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the God

For whatever reasons or tragedies that happened when I was young I became very interested in religion. I read the bible, the Jehovah's witness bible, researched Judaism, and looked a little bit into what Mormons were about. As more philosophical questions grew from the answers I sought I became increasingly agitated with religion. I would wait until the end of service and ask the preacher the questions I had and he would appear to get angry with me as if I was ridiculing him when I only sought further understanding.

Apparently, he had spoken to my father about this and told him to make me stop. This left me with great disdain for the church and all religion. I didn't need them anymore as I was learning science now, which gave me all the physical answers I needed. I could see cells, evolution, and math all around me.

Then one year in Sunday school, which I still attended under duress, I had a new teacher. He was a very nice elderly man, whose name escapes me unfortunately. However, the lessons and things he made me think about had a profound effect on my life. I learned to do unto others as they would they would do unto you and "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I am happy to teach these to my son. Whatever he chooses to believe in life, if he lives his life by helping, respecting, and not judging others I will be proud of him.

One class, when I was maybe 12 years old, I remember giving the teacher an extra hard time about dinosaurs and evolution. He looked at me intently for a few seconds and stood up. I was nervous at first, for I thought I was to be reprimanded, but instead he grabbed a piece of chalk and flipped my world upside down.

He drew a little circle on the chalkboard and told us it was Earth. He asked the class how much bigger Jupiter was than Earth. We told him way bigger. So he drew a huge circle next to the little one. Then he wanted to know how long was a year on Earth, in which we instantly responded in unison the answer of 365 days. Now he wanted to know how a year was on Jupiter, and none of us knew that. He goes to the chalkboard and writes something like 11 years. Now, with the undivided attention of the whole class, he asks, "How big is God?" All the kids preceded to shout out answers describing almost unimaginable size. "What do you think a year is to God?" he asks. "Millions," we chimed. Now the syllogism was complete. If God made the Earth in six days, and a day to God is millions of years old, then the Earth was millions upon millions of years old, just like science says. Awesome.

Perhaps due to ego from having my mind blown or maybe due to my inquisitive nature, I quickly asked "What about the dinosaurs, surely they didn't live with humans?" I remember him smiling and asking if there were steps to making a cake. Everyone nodded in approval. The logic he then put forth would define the way I thought about things for the rest of my life thus far.

What if God, who made everything and all the laws of physics, biology, and chemistry, then followed these laws when He made the universe? What if evolution was a necessary step towards creating man over his billion long six day time? What a great gift he gave me that day. The ability to marry science to religion if I choose to. To let one fill in the blanks with another. To be able to use reason and logic to choose what I believe. I still suspect he had that lesson planned for me though.

We had several more lessons of this nature where he would tell us how without science and a greater understanding people couldn't fully comprehend what God was saying. I remember one example of how people thought God would open a door in the sky to let rain in. He used this to demonstrate some of the things explained in the Bible that couldn't be true.

These Sunday school classes with him are what ultimately led me to my current Deist leaning beliefs. I can't fathom how God would damn anybody to Hell who hasn't heard of a particular brand of His name. Like a family on an island somewhere who dies from a famine. Why should they be damned to Hell for never hearing of Jesus. That why it's easier for me to be a Deist than to subscribe to one religion entirely. Science isn't the enemy of organized religion to me, it's the philosophical questions. I can't go on believing God would allow suffering of any kind if he intervened in anyway. I don't think He will save America or damn it for policies our leaders make. I don't think he spares lives or condemns others.

My wife is Catholic, and she wanted to baptize our son Catholic too. I saw no problem with this because I believe to follow the moral teachings of Jesus makes for a good human. He also goes to Catholic school, so he learns to be a good neighbor and about dinosaurs. It's a win win for me. When he grows up a little more I'll let him decide what he chooses to believe.

So that's the story of what I believe and why I do for the most part. I hope it was enjoyable to read. If you see me on the forums at least you'll know where I'm coming from.